i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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