Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
