Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize