that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
