This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
