glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
