Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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