so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
