Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I will be naked everywhere
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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