I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
