yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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