We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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