the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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