yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
