Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
