I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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