Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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