I will die if light touches me.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
