He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
