I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When are your genitals available?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize