woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
