We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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