am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The air taste purple.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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