I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize