im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
