You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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