trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
