She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
