You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
