Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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