You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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