I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
