Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
