no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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