Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
