There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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