What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
