I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
