Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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