I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
