She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
