do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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