Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
