How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
