Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
