I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
