I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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