I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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