She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
