You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
