When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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