Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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