GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
