What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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