Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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