Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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