You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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