I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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