Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
