C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
