I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
