worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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