Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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