Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
